Struggles on the Path

We all have times of inner conflict when it comes to our spiritual path. We change, we explore, we learn. Talk about how your spiritual path is going. Have you had any struggles that have been particularly important to you in getting where you are? Share how you got through the tough times and what it taught you. Do you think there will be ever a moment when we will just get it and no longer be seeking?

My spiritual path is on autopilot. I've gotten a few books to help me get going again but I haven't done any reading for a while. I think the problem was that there are pages and pages of basic information, both paper and electronic. So once I'd absorbed all the basic information I wanted, I had nowhere to go. I've found a few books geared toward "adepts," but I don't think of myself as "adept." I think of myself as intermediate -- definitely no longer a beginner.

I haven't really had any struggles. I'm not closed about my faith but I don't shout it rom the rooftops. I'm by no means a fundamentalist witch, clad in black from head to toe with pentacles painted on the house. However I did have some fun Halloween before last with kids & parents asking what I was supposed to be and I said, "I'm a witch." Ah, very freeing. I guess I belong to the don't ask, don't tell school of religion. I don't want to hear about your religion and I won't subject you to mine. However, if someone asks, I'm very eager to talk about it. That's one of the great things about being able to express my faith here in the Pagan Speak collab or on my webpages. If someone's looking for it, there it is. If they don't want it, the can go somewhere else.

One "struggle" I've had is getting my husband to think of witchcraft as a religion. I don't know how he sees it but I think it's somewhere between hobby and faith. We talk about it quite a bit, but only up to a point. He's not embarrassed by my "witchy things" although I think some things give him the creeps. He does like the athame and bolline however. He hates the incense.

The last personal event that took place in the context of my former faith was my wedding. But it was a very modern, feminist affair (with a female minister). I felt it was good to end my experience on a high note. However, since I've been practicing Wicca 100%, my husband and I became godparents to our nephew. I made it a point to say, "I'm not Catholic." But the response was "That's okay." And when it came time to do these answers about teaching him the "ways of the church," I said nothing. My husband said, "Yes." But I think my job as a "spirit parent" will definitely include showing him the magic of everyday life and teaching him to question his spirituality. Hard to tell as he's only turning five this month.

As far as seeking goes, I think religion is seeking and questioning. I hope I never stop questioning or seeking. I want to keep adding layers to my faith. It's one of the things I love about Wicca. I can structure my faith in a way that is meaningful to me. I hope I never "get it." It's the journey that I find most appealing.

Magical Name

Do you have a magical name? Do you have several? If you are comfortable sharing your name please tell us how you came to find it and what it means to you. If you don't want to share it, then talk about how you found it and what you use it for etc. If you have had several, talk about each of them and tell us how you progressed from one to the other and arrived at the one you have today. Do you think magical names are to be shared or do you think they should be private?

I have a magical name and I used to have webpages about it. When I saw this collab topic in the archives, I thought it was a good chance to talk about my names.

My magical name is Brigdh Eden. Brigdh is pronounced “Bride” which from my research is the Scottish pronunciation. I was looking for a magical name and not making much progress. I kept coming back to Brigid. I never particularly cared for the name itself, but the goddess who carries it is very appealing. She is a triple goddess, a goddess of fire symbolized by an arrow, among other symbols. I am a Sagittarius (a fire sign symbolized by an arrow). She is a Muse, the goddess of poets and musicians. I am a writer. She is a healer. I am married to a healer. All signs were pointing toward “Brigid” as a magical name.

Then we went to play my first ever game of D&D. I had created a human female cleric character and named her “Bronwen.” When I gave her name, there was a great moan from the table. Apparently they’d played before with someone whose character was “Bronwen” and she mucked up the game. So the DM said, “You’re Brigid now.” Well that was a definite sign. So I picked the funkiest spelling I could find and a prounciation I liked.

However I still wanted to chose my own name. I adore the name Rhiannon, but it’s very common as a magical name. I also want to save it as a possible name for a child. So after much searching and reading, I came to the logical conclusion: Eden. I was already using it as my online name and I did/do love it. The name is explained on my about me page.

I also have a third name which I keep private. I don’t even like to hint at what it is. I feel it’s a special name between myself and the Deities. I rarely use it except in rededicaton ceremonies. I would only use it if I really needed a bullhorn for them to hear me.

I think it’s fine to use a magical name for non-magical purposes. Yesterday I was shopping at a Wiccan-owned store and one of the owners introduced herself as Willow. I very much doubt it’s her given name. But it’s the name she chooses, which I have a great respect for. Our names define us, yet someone else chooses them before our personalities are even known. So Willow suits her. Just as Eden suits me.

BTW: Eden is also my pseudonym as an erotica writer. Seeing as I consider my expression of sexuality and my writing as gifts, I feel it’s a form of thanksgiving to honor the one who gave me the gifts by using my magical name when sharing them.

I think I would change my magical name if I had a life-changing event which changes who I am spiritually. I would probably keep “Eden” and change “Brigdh.” Or maybe my third name. But you never know.